Mini-Comics =D

The Picture above is not mine, it belongs to it'e creator. I took it from www.deviantART.com :D

Within Temptation-Bittersweet

"Please don't say again that you have to go"

If I tell you
Will you listen?
Will you stay?
Will you be here forever?
Never go away?
Never thought things would change, hold me tight
Please don't say again that you have to go

A bitter thought
I had it all
But I just let it go
Hold your silence
It's so violence since you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

If I had told you
You would've listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away

It would never have been all the same
All our time what have been in vain
Cause you had to go

The sweetest thought
Had it all
Cause I did let you go
All our moments keep me warm
When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever
'Till the day we'll be back together
I will be waiting for you

So....What's Next?

Gw lagi bingung karena nggak terasa Ujian Nasional itu sudah makin dekat dan gw masih belum punya ide kemana gw mau pindah SMA nanti. Pilihan pertama gw jatuh pada salah satu SMA terkenal di Jakarta, tapi masalahnya..gw nggak yakin gw mampu melewati tes masuknya yang butuh campur tangan Tuhan supaya gw bisa lulus, selain itu gw juga tersandung masalah biayanya. Terlebih, di SMA itu ada satu orang ingin-tidak-ingin gw temui...lagi.

Jadi sepertinya gw masuk SMA itu cuma mimpi semata *sigh*

Meneruskan SMA di Kota gw sekarang? a big "NO" why? pertama...orangtua gw itu lebih sering di Jakarta, sehari di sini dua minggu disana..jadi lebih baik gw yang pindah kesana daripada kyk gini terus. Kedua, gw g gitu yakin dengan SMA di sini, I mean gw aja merasa kecewa karena dulu gw SMPnya nggak pindah ke tempat lain.

Gw ngerasa bener" bingung 'n takut menentukan SMA gw..karena ini pertama kalinya gw diberi hak untuk masalah sebesar ini. Dan gw tau apapun pilihan gw, nantinya pasti membawa dampak besar dalam hidup gw . Gw juga tahu..apapun pilihan gw..gw harus siap kehilangan sesuatu. Seperti pepatah "Gain some, Lose Some"

God, what should I do? T~T

Totaly Random

You are at the doctor's office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

A) No, because i dun want people treat me like I'm-dying-and-going-to-die-soon and they will acting weird around me. I want things to keep normal in my last month.
b) i hang out more with my family and friends, i need to make sure that they will be okay if my time has come
c) Yes, maybe a little...but..everyone will die right?it's only about time..

You can have one of the following two things: trust/love.
Trust, Love without trust mean nothing

You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

I scream for help, i won't go to the canal and save that dog not because i dun want to, but because i can't swim.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
London and Tokyo.

Think of the last person who you really knew that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you?
My grandpa. Yes..yes..i will take that chance : i never tell him that i reallly love him when he was alive

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
I don't know..it's a hard question. Really..

Does love = sex?
No, in my opinion no. You can have sex with whoever you want, but you can't choose who you fell in love with. And i think if you love someone, it doesn't mean you have to have sex with him to prove you really love him. You can prove your love with other way.
Deep Questions to Ask People List
Your best friend dies, what would you do?
Crying, mourning

When and how was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt? when was it? during the day. how was it?
I dun know...i harldy express how i felt. But i guess it feel nice..

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?
To tell someone that i love him. It's just so hard for me...
What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on?

My family, i love them...i will give up on my life for them =)
Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Over a year ago..and well...i wasn't sure if i really love him that time

If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you had "no regrets" what would it be?
The day i was born... i made sure i never born. It's not like i hate my life or stuff...i just prefer staying at heaven with my 'Father' than living on earth..

Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. Who do you call?
My brother :

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
No, i'm afraid i will get infected by some disesase, instead..i will take him to the hospital.

Are you old fashioned?
Yes

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a heart break or have never loved before?
True love with a guarantee of a heart break. 'cause the pain of broken heart will make me learn.

If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish?
I wish me and the people i love will be happy forever.


Have you ever been extremely "intimate" with someone in a public place?
Nu~

Have you ever cheated on your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Not physcally but in my heart, yeah..

If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do?
Spending my time with the people i love and go to church


If you could make anyone your servant for the day, who would it be and what would you make them do?
Dean Winchester. And what will i make him do? ...You don't want to know *smirk*

If you could be born again would choose to be a different sex to what you are?
Girl, i dun want to be a boy~

How far would you go with someone that you just met?
Err-talking?

What's your favourite thing about the opposite sex?
Their strong body =)

What's the worst thing about being your gender?
Well...i have to suffer a terrible stomachache and a moodswing for a week once a month. A.k.a having period

Have you ever eaten a leaf or grass?
Nu uh..

Have you ever peed in the shower?
Yes :P

Have you picked your nose when no one was looking in a public place?
Uh...
What song always makes you happy when you hear it?
Let the sun shine in

What was your favorite sitcom growing up?
Dulce maria XD

What favorite food puts you in a great mood?
Chocolate X3
Who's the funniest person you know?
Joshua
What was the best vacation you ever had?
to anyer a few weeks ago
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
:-"
What is the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
Eyes :p
Whats your middle name?
Natalia
How big is your bed?
big enough for me :D
What music are you listening to right now?
Bittersweet..sad song T_T
What are the last 4 digits in your cellphone number?
8789
What was the last thing you ate?
forgot..
Who was the last person you hugged?
My Bude :3
How is the weather right now?
Nice~
Fun Questions to Ask People
What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
Castiel kissing Dean's cheek XDX3

Did you get anough sleep last night?
Nu..

What's the first thing you thought about this morning?
Damn...i still want to sleep
..and..
Geez..My legs hurt >..<
What's the last thing you thought about before you went to sleep last night?
About my nephew..he didn't stop crying until i fell asleep ==""

What do you have handy at your bedside?
nothing

Grilled or Fried?
Fried

What makes you unique?
Dunno~

Are you afraid of the dark?
If i'm alone in the dark~

Favorite hangout?

3 things you cannot live without?
cellphone, computer, lamp

Favorite song?
many

What are you afraid of?
High

Are you a giver or a taker?
giver

What are your nicknames?
Xie, yuuki, Nixie, etc

What 1 thing would you take with you on a deserted island?
a truck of water :p

Favorite TV commercial?
-
Who's your cellphone provider?
XL
First thing you will save in a fire?
my cellphone :p

Whats your favorite color?
Soft pink, blue, white

What are the things you always take with you?
cellphone
What did you wanna be when you were a kid?
a doctor
What do you usually do when the clock turns 10:10?
sleeping?
What's the color of your bedsheet?
pink
What the last thing you do before you go to bed?
praying O-:)

Him and "Him"

When the first time I met him, i just look at him and feel nothing

When the firts time I met him, My world stopped and there’s something wild in my heart

When he’s near me, i feel peace and save

When he’s near me, I feel warm and happy

When he talk to me, I feel comfort and happines

When he talk to me, I feel joy

When he’s hurt, I try my best to comfot him

When he’s hurt, I’m hurt too

When he left, I feel empty and lonely

When he left, my world is falling apart

Thinking of me without him, make my eyes cry

Thinking of me without him, make my heart cry

Loving him is like walking on the thin ice, so fragile..if i take a wrong step, i will fall..

Loving him is like awe the stars, painful i can see it everyday, but i can never ever make it mine

My love for him is like a ocean breeze, it’s warm, nice, comforting, but sometimes it dissapear

My love for him is like a snow, it’s beautiful, pure, sincere, but also so cold and sometimes it just too painful to keep holding on

Both of them are important to me

If someone ask me “are you in love?”

I will answer “Yes”

But, i don’t know what to anser if he ask me who is the person i love. ‘cause i love both of them in completly different way.

Satu lagi puisi dari folder lama di komputer saia :3

...If...

If...

If I tell you I Love You,

Will You listen?

Will You stay?

Will You say itu back?

If We never met that day,

Will I ever met You?

Will I ever know You?

Will I ever love You?

If You know I was waiting for You,

Will You come back for me?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If I never replied You message that day,

Wil We ever know each other?

Will You still fall for me?

Will You Love someone else?

If I never say “Yes” that day,

Will I still know you this time?

Will You still wait for me?

Will You leave me?

If I tell you to not wait for me,

Will You let me go?

Love?

"Cinta itu..apa sih?rasanya gimana?"

Akhir - akhir ini gw sering bertanya pada diri gw sendiri seperti itu. Karena, gw udah lupa bagimana rasanya cinta itu. Mengingat, udah sekian lama gw nggak jatuh cinta...

Kalo udah menyangkut ke masalah perasaan, Gw bener - bener clueless.

Seperti saat ini contohnya, udah setahun lebih berlalu dan gw masih nggak tau apa yang gw rasain sama orang ini. Detik ini gw yakin kalo gw ada perasaan sama dia, dan sedetik kemudian perasaan itu hilang begitu aja. Kadang gw bertanya, gimana bisa dia terus nunggu dan bilang dia cinta sama gw sampai selama itu, setahun itu waktu yang lama..masa dia nggak mengalami fase jenuh atau mencoba mencari yang lain? karena jujur waktu gw nungguin orang itu selama dua tahun, gw sempat mengalami fase jenuh dan mencoba mencari orang lain (walaupun selalu gagal). Gw ngerasa nyaman didekatnya, dia tau hampir semua tentang gw dan begitu juga sebaliknya. We're Friends, We're Siblings, We're bestfriend..but Lovers? I don't know...I don't think so..I don't think I can..

Besides, terkadang gw masih teringat dia, dan beberapa hari yang lalu ketika 'orang ini' nanya sam gw, gimana kalau dia balik lagi ke hidup gw dan mendekati gw, apa gw bakal nerima dia gw cuma bisa bilang "Nggak tau"

Terkadang gw menganggap diri gw bodoh...ada seseorang yang mencintai gw secara luar biasa dan gw?gw negbiarin dia gitu aja...I Know I'm gonna regret this someday..

Kalo ada tes buat memeriksa apa gw lagi jatuh cinta atau nggak dengan hasil yang akurat..tanpa mikir dua kali pasti gw ikutin tes itu.

Huff~

Enough of this post ~_~

Random

Wow... nggak kerasa sudah 2 tahun sejak blog ini gw tinggalkan. Dan entah kenapa tiba - tiba gw membuka kembali blog ini setelah sekian lama. Rasanya menyenangkan membaca arsip - arsip blog gejeh ini, mengingatkan pada masa waktu gw masih polos :P

Banyak yg udah terjadi selama dua tahun terakhir, selama dua tahun ini gw 'ditempa' dan 'dibakar' jadi lebih kuat daripada sebelumnya. Gw juga mengalami banyak pertemuan dan perpisahan tentu saja.

Sudahlah, nggak usah panjang - panjang rancauan nggak jelas dari gw..

Kedepannya gw nggak akan menelantarkan blog ini lagi...semoga. :P